planet kev

But now that I begin to know myself better, and to discover more clearly the author of my being, I do not, indeed, think that I ought rashly to admit all which the senses seem to teach, nor, on the other hand, is it my conviction that I ought to doubt in general of their teachings.

http://www.wright.edu/cola/descartes/mede.html

Attributed to Longfellow and Euripides, this caught my ear today. My money’s on Euripides.

Sharing within marriage

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’

As the man began to eat his fries a 20 year old young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn’t eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said ‘No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything..’

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bi te of food and asked ‘What is it you are waiting for?’

She answered?

Read the rest of this entry »

Where do pets come from?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to
“Where do pets come from?”

Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us
every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is
difficult for us to remember how much you love us.”

And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be
with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that
you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or
childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you
are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.”

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his
tail.

And Adam said, “Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom
and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.”

And God said, “No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a
reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name,
and you will call him DOG.”

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said,
“Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen
like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed
taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.”

And God said, “No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be
with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will
remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always
worthy of adoration.”

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes,
they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve
learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn’t give a shit one way or the other.

The Dummy

by Michael Mack

In that forgotten part of town
Where wasted hopes and dreams abound,
A wrinkled man with life near end,
In hopes to have at least one friend,
Fashioned bits of wood and things
And made a dummy run by strings.

He sat alone for hours on end,
Conversing with his only friend
And found delight within the fact
That he controlled it’s every act.
He told it how he never had
A chance, since all his luck was bad
Although he’d tried so to succeed -
The dummy nodded and agreed.

And how his journeys in romance
Had never given him a chance,
And wasn’t it a crying shame
That he was always held to blame
When everyone knew, oh so well,
That life is but a living Hell,
Controlled by lust and power and greed?
The dummy nodded and agreed.

With patience that would rival saints,
That dummy sat through all complaints
And, with each little expert tug,
He’d droop his head or bow or shrug
And give some comfort to the man
Who held his lifelines in his hand
And helped to fill a lonely need
When he just nodded and agreed.

Senility increased with time
As did the old man’s phantomime,
And feverish fingers pulled with glee
The dummy’s dance of misery.
They never left each other’s side
Until the day both stopped and died.
We found them lying, hand in hand,
The dummy - and his wooden friend.